But squander not (your wealth)
In the manner of a spendthrift.2209
Verily spendthrifts are brothers
Of the Evil Ones
And the Evil One
Is to his Lord (Himself)
2209. All charity, kindness, and help are conditioned by our own resources. There is no merit if we merely spend out of bravado or for idle show. How many families are ruined by extravagant expenses at weddings, funerals, etc., or (as they may call it) to "oblige friends or relatives , or to give to able-bodied beggars? To no one was this command more necessary than it is to Muslims of the present day.
2210. Spendthrifts are not merely fools. They are of the same family as the Evil Ones. And the chief of the Evil Ones (notice the transition from the plural to the singular) - Satan himself - fell by his ingratitude to Allah. So those who misuse or squander Allah's gifts are also ungrateful to Allah.
(Translation & Commentary Abdullah Yusuf ALi)
The best marriage is that upon which the least trouble
and expense is bestowed. (Hadith)
A MATRIMONIAL REVOLUTION
REQUIRED IN MUSLIM SOCIETY
A matrimonial alliance has always been a cloudy affair in the Muslim Society. Customs and practices alien to Muslim Culture, especially the Shariah, have crept into the Muslim Society and become an integral part of our matrimonial fabric. Ofcourse, the canker of alien influence has eaten into every aspect of life of a Muslim these days, but nowhere has this poison sptead so conclusively as in the matrimonial sphere. What is required to save the Muslim Society from this hydra headed incubus is nothing short of a total revolution in the matrimonial field. Only success in this field can ensure success in various other fields where the laws of Shariah have been flouted with impunity by our so called social superiors in Islam. Marriage, the most important aspect of the social life, becomes an occasion for ostentation, which has no place in Islam. Those Muslims whom Allah has blessed with the good things of life feel it beneath their dignity to marry off their daughter without an extravagant reception. The idea of a nikah being performed in the sacred precincts of a mosque has become repugnant to the haves' of our society, for such a wedding ceremony might besmirch their reputation. A Muslim owning a big business, large mansions and a couple of cars feels his equals in affluence might look down upon him for opting for a simple ~nkah in the mosque; as though he could not afford to solemnize his daughter's wedding in a five star hotel or with an extravagant reception with all its attendant adjuncts to OStentation. Here ostentation takes precedence over the dictates of Shariah. Is this not arrogance? And Allah has a short way with those who, inspite of the fact that all the worldly riches they are possessed of have been His gifts, defy His commandments and vie with one another to project the image of their affluence through extravagant receptions, video coverage of the wedding ceremony, loud speakers blaring, sumptuous but wasteful dinners and so on.
The have-nots' of the society, labouring under the delusion that the ostentatious path blazed for them by the haves' is the right path. They try to emulate the haves' with disastrous results. The expenses of a wedding in extravagant receptions with the inevitable dinners and so on, coupled with the insatiable dowry demands, reduce a lower middle class family to the verge of bankruptcy. The plight of one such family with two or three daughters waiting to be married might well be imagined. By the time aIII the daughters are married off. with all dowry demands properly settled, the poor parents have nothing left but to recourse to the beggiNg bowl. A marriage becomes a disaster, a veritable curse. Did Islam make it so? Or is it the society that has made it so? If the society has a conscience it is not too late to mend matters by reversing the trend and making a nikah performed in a mosque into a status symbol.
The revolution must be so total that every Muslim must fight for the right to perform the nikah in a mosque and extravagant receptions must become a thing of the past, a shameful but forgotten past. It is up to the haves' of the society to undo the mischief which lies at their door. If they set the trend of a simple nikah ceremony in a mosque with no frills, the rest are bound to follow suit for the affluent can afford to go simple. When those who can afford to waste money through ostentation prefer simplicity, it has all the makings of a revolution.
In this context it is heartening to note a change in the trend creeping in of late. Marriages are now being solemnized in mosques more frequently and the idea is catching on. Like a silver lining in the clouds the trend is gaining momentum. Now, if ever, is the time for all thinking Muslims to lend the weight of their support to this happy trend and usher in the long awaited revolution.
( Courtesy Editorial, ISLAMIC VOICE, May 1992)
Demanding or receiving of dowty from the bride or giving of dowiy by the bride is a sin and considered harqam in Islam. Not paying (Or not promising to pay) mahr or paying mahr out of the dowry amount (received from the bride) by the bridegroom makes the marriage illegal in Islam.
In Islam, marriage is a contract which is confirmed by the bride's reception of a mahr and by the witnessing of the bride's consent to the marriage. A woman cannot be forced to marry against her will.
Let there arise out of you
A band of people
Inviting to all that is good,
Enjoining what is right,
And forbidding what is wrong:
They are the ones
To attain felicity.43'
451. Muflih. oflaha, faloh: the root idea is attainment of desires; happiness, in thts world and the next; success; prosperity; freedom from anxiety, care, or a disturbed
· state of mind the opposit of adhab in the next verse, which includes~ failure; misery; punishment or penalty; agony or anguish.
The ideal Muslim community is happy, untroubled by conflicts or doubts, sure of itself, strong, united, and prosperous; because it invites to all that is good, enjoins the right; and forbids the wrong - a tnaster-strol~e of description in three clauses.
Published in interest of eradicating the evils of marriage in Muslim Society.